Saturday, October 27, 2012

Using Positive Self-Talk to Conquer Any Goal

Do you feel like you are always talking yourself out of success? As soon as you start to set goals for yourself, do you suddenly have nagging thoughts about how you aren't up to the task or how you simply aren't qualified to carry it through?

If you have ever experienced either situation, you need to change the way you respond to your inner dialogue. Instead of obeying your negative commands, you can use positive self-talk to counter the negativity and overcome nearly all anxious thoughts.

Setting Goals and Sticking to Them with Positive Self-Talk

Are you initially filled with excitement when you first set goals for yourself? Are these thoughts then followed by self-doubt and self-defeating thoughts that stop you in your tracks before you even get started?

It can be difficult to make the most of your life when you are constantly talking yourself out of being a success. It can be frustrating and discouraging to have these thoughts constantly plaguing you. Many of us, in fact, don't even realize we have them! All we know is that we don't have the confidence to stick to our plans and reach our goals.

But there's another way!

Positive self-talk is an effective way to set goals and ensure that you stick to them, even if you have never been able to do this before. The way this works is that you decide what goal is important to you, and then you plan the logistics of how you are going to attain this goal. When self-doubt starts kicking in, you will respond with affirmations that prove your success without surrendering to the negative pressure. Since you're reading this article, it's clear that you're no quitter and you're certainly not a failure, so start believing in yourself!

Re-Programming Your Mind

Affirmations are essentially positive statements that re-program your mind for the positive. The moment you have a self-defeating thought you'd be able to counter the negative with a motivating statement. An example of a positive affirmation is: "I am worthy of great success," or "I see myself in the winner's circle." What this does is replace negativity with thoughts that will help you move toward your goals instead of further away from them.

Positive self-talk is easier to implement than you might think. You may not be aware of the severity of the negative dialogue currently within your mind. However, once you begin with positive self-talk, you will suddenly realize that you are self-sabotaging the goals you set for yourself from the minute that you make them. This process can open your eyes to exactly how much this inner conversation has been interfering with your life. You'll feel hopeful that you can now set goals and surpass them.

Through positive self-talk you will be able easily set long and short-term goals for yourself. And when you use affirmations, you'll have accessible tools to help you push yourself further than ever before. Learning to quiet negativity with positive thoughts is a great move toward setting and attaining future goals with ease.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

7 Unique Ways To Make Someone Smile

Do you want to put a smile on someone's face?  Maybe make their day a little bit brighter?  It doesn't have to take much time or money on your part.  In fact, many things can be done as a part of your normal routine and cost little or nothing.  You won't know how many people are encouraged by your kindness because smiles are contagious. 

Try out one or more of these 7 ways today to put smiles on their faces.

  1. Write an encouraging note to others that have encouraged you or that need  encouragement. Handwritten notes that are given to encourage, not just for thanking someone for a gift, are rare. That makes handwritten notes even more special. Start a new practice of sitting down and writing an encouraging note on a regular basis. You just might start an epidemic!
  2. Take a friend out to lunch or invite her to your home for a meal.  You will get to know each other even better than you do right now. If you feel like being more adventurous, throw a party for several of your friends and put smiles on a multitude of faces.
  3. Give someone an inspirational book to read. You will feel good doing it, reading the book will change the person, and they will think of you every time they read it.
  4. Ask a friend or relative if you can take care of their kid(s) for a day or evening. If you have been a parent, you know the value of being able to have a few hours of "adult time" without worrying about the children. Don't wait to be asked to baby-sit when it is required. Offer to do it at a time when the parent can do something fun and relaxing.
  5. Deliver a meal to someone you know that is sick or having a rough time. We have all been sick and know the last thing you want to do is be out of bed. There are also times when life is tough and it is hard to do all of the daily chores. You can be a tremendous help by providing a meal that can be enjoyed.
  6. Volunteer time to supporting your local church or charity.  Every minute you dedicate to a church or charity will cause many smiles.  You will put a smile on the face of each leader just for helping without being asked.  You will also be putting smiles on the faces of those that are being helped through the organization.
  7. Thank everyone that supports you throughout the day.  The list of those that you come in contact with is endless.  Remember family and friends, secretaries, co-workers, teachers, Sunday school teachers, pastors, store employees, janitors, gas station attendants, those that deliver your mail and newspaper, and servers at restaurants.

I know this is a list of 7 ways to put a smile on someone's face, but there is one more way that can't be ignored. Reveal a genuine smile to everyone you meet. You will experience how easy it is to get others to smile!

Author: Roger Carr – founder of Everyday Giving.  His life purpose is to help people help others. Learn more ways to give at

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Finding Opportunity Between Negative Thoughts

There's a moment when negative thoughts arise in your head, unbidden. In that moment, you need to decide how you are going to think about a given situation or person. You know what I'm talking about. It's that moment where you feel the urge to indulge in a negative thought or say a negative comment, just as you would to scratch an itchy scab. You don't really want to go there, but it feels kind of good to indulge that kind of thinking.
I'm not quite sure why this is, to be honest. It's part plain comfort in continuing to think as you always have. It's part wanting someone to save you or comfort you - even if the thought goes no further than your own head. It's part confirmation that the way you do things IS right, dammit!
The "why" doesn't necessarily matter. All that matters is that you just stop it! Interrupt the flow of thoughts the moment you feel bad. The moment you are at the decision point about how to react to something, you can choose to behave or think differently. No one is holding a gun to your head, of course, but you.
But first, you have to decide that what you want to stop it.
In order to figure that out, I have a couple of simple questions:
·        Do you want to continue to feel negatively about certain situations?
·     What do you get out of feeling negatively about these situations? Does it feed some part of you that wants to keep feeling bad?
·        What would it feel like if you took control, and simply said, "Enough! I'm choosing to live from a place of positivity and pleasure."

See, we are always able to choose how we feel about something. People do not "make you feel" a certain way. (My kids learned early on that saying something like, "Susie made me feel guilty" would provoke a long discussion about out how they chose to allow Susie to make them feel guilty.)
I'll say it again: You choose how to feel - about everything. If someone is annoying or hurting you, are they choosing to annoy you? To hurt you? Maybe. There's no way to really know unless you ask them. (And honestly, unless you can do it from a truly neutral stance, why bother?) If they are, is feeling angry or bad about it going to change anything? Are they oblivious? Maybe. Are they acting out of their own pain? More than likely.
Empathy is the best medicine for that situation. This requires the combination of making the decision NOT to feel bad about something and the awareness that people truly do the best they can, even if it means hurting you.
The Buddhists call it loving-kindness. But, it's all the same thing. If you think of it this way, that we are all made from the same original cells, you might see that we are all in this together. When you get angry at someone else, it is like being angry at yourself. (It's also attracting more to be angry at!) Even if you don't buy into that, realize that if you feel bad, how you feel is your choice. And you're not going to stop feeling lousy until you choose to feel better.
When you choose to feel good, feel pleasure, you will opt out of the bad feeling trap. When you identify pleasure with the decision not to feel bad, you are more likely to choose feeling good!
So, learn to identify the opportunities in between your thoughts. A simple way to do that is to become immediately aware that feelings of gloom, anger, pessimism or criticism are signals that you are not in harmony with your inner being. These are moments of choice.
Once you realize this moment, you will decide, hopefully, to look for the opportunity, or to reframe what is going on so that you stay in a higher vibration mode. This is not Pollyanna stuff - it's simply energetics. Like attracts like. You can even ask yourself, "Do I want more of this?" If not, then change your reaction, and create what you do want.
Just remember, you can't control anyone's behavior, but you can control your reaction to it.
And one last thing: if you put a little energy into what is positive and good about a situation and/or person, you might find that things turn around pretty quickly.

Teresa M Goetz
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