Do
other people make you feel things?
Do
they make you feel happy or sad?
I’m
curious. How do they make you feel this way?
Do
they say, “Hey, here’s a tin of sadness.”
Or
maybe they say, “Ahh, you need a bucket of happiness. Hold on, I’ve got one
here you can have.”
Can
you find happiness or sadness on the supermarket shelves, pre-packaged and
ready to go?
Shopaholics
amongst you would argue that you could; however I would say you can’t.
We
often rely on other people to “make” us feel a certain way. We rely on them to
do something, say something, and be something in order for us to feel happy. If
they don’t do what we are expecting them to, we get upset, sad and hurt.
In
short, we often attempt to control other people in order to control how we
feel; that is, our emotions.
And
when we do this, we are setting ourselves up for failure, because we can’t
control anyone else. We cannot force anyone to do anything or assume they will.
There
is just one person we control; ourselves.
People
don’t make us feel certain emotions. We choose to feel them. We decide to react
in a certain way. We make assumptions about what people mean. We leap to
conclusions.
No
one can give you a tin of unhappiness, or a bucket of joy. These things are not
physical items that can be passed from person to person. They are intangible
items that exist only in ourselves.
Believe
it or not, each of you are in control of yourself and how you feel. You can
choose to feel anyway you want. Right now, you could choose to feel happy; or I
am sure you could choose to feel sad. Just by thinking about it, you could
change how you feel.
It’s
almost magic isn’t it?
So
what about choosing how you feel when you are interacting with other people?
The
vast majority of people run on auto-pilot. They allow their body and mind to
more or less get on with it, not worrying too much about the programs that are
running or the condition of it. It doesn’t interfere with them too much so they
allow it to get on with it.
It’s
like watching all the cars driving around a city and not realising there is
someone inside controlling them.
Most
people have forgotten there is this “person” inside of them controlling them.
If
you choose, you can take back control of how you feel and stop relying on other
people to meet certain conditions.
When
you go to the office and someone says, “Good Morning” to you, you can choose to
grumble and mutter, “There’s nothing good about it.” Or, you can choose to
reply in kind and say, “It’s a fantastic morning.”
That
is, you can choose to feel bad or choose to feel good.
Which
do you prefer?
Realize
that you are the only person who can make you feel anything and stop allowing
the people around you to make you feel bad. Decide to feel good and enjoy
yourself.
If
someone turns you down or rejects you, you could tell yourself “It’s their
loss” or something similar.
If
someone says something that insults you, you could tell yourself “Poor thing,
must be confused” or something similar.
Decide
to take back control of yourself and your life and to stop being on auto-pilot.
Choose how you are going to feel instead of allowing other people to choose for
you :)
